Well...Top 5 list of words that I hate, emm.. what a good approach to start a new year. Looks more like a new year resolution.

1. "Stubborn" loves to be right all the time

2. "Impatient" caused others to get hurt

3. "Selfish" succeed at the expense of others. It is also known as a thief

4. "Jealousy" is the culprit of broken relationship

5. :"Untrustworthy" looses trust and confidence from others.

Actually, i have more words to put up. But i think i should focus on vaporising these words first. As a wise man said " One step at a time". It is definately an ancient old saying but it is damn useful.  

Today is Christmas. Feeling really unwell. How ironic. Hopefully, I will recover from my fever as soon as possible. I do not usually enjoy staying in bed. But i think it is a good opportunity for me to do some refelction and read some books and listen to some good musics. Probably i should check out Function of a door. Missing it alot.

it was a warm fall in Shenzeng, just got down from a 3 hours flight. I was walking down to the the bus station with my family. The walk was really long. My family and I didn't know where is the bus station, so we had to rely on a "guide". Well, honestly at first, i thought that he looks alittle dodgy, but he was willing to offer a 10 RMB to carry our luggages and show us the way to the bus station.

on the way to the bus station, i noticed lots of changes. Although i have never been to there but from what i can recall from my history book, Shenzeng was only a small fishing village. It was not as advanced and busy as the big cities, such as Shanghai or Beijing. Within 20 years, Shenzeng has transformed itself into a big commercial city. There are tall skyscrapers and lots of cars. A typical metropolitan. 

When i was walking up a bridge, I saw a 30 plus year old woman carrying a toddleron her back and was scooping food from a rubbish bin. I was stunt for awhile. I thought to myself..why isn't this mother picking up food from the rubbish bin. This woman is physically sound. Is it because she can't find any job? Is she from the village? That incident kept me thinking. Why does the govenrment not of assistant to this poor mother and child? Too big a country to take care of everyone? With that note, I was on a shopping street one day. Then, I saw a man hanging a banner. The banner was written with these words in mandarin "Please help my son". I saw a young boy who is really ill lying on a push cart and breathing heavily. Everyone was looking around the boy but no one did anything. The 'father' was just sitting near the boy and begging for money. If the man is really a father, a reasonable man would send his son to the hospital and not begging for money on a tourist street. It is an infamous world out there. We can't tell are all these a syndicate scam. Children are taken away from their parents to beg for money. It is cruel but the fact is that it is really happening. We read about all these incidents on newspapers and magazines, heard it all over the radio and television.What we usually react is "oh dear, poor thing. Thank God it is not happening to me".     

It has been 8 days since the day i got back from Australia. Things have changed and people has also change their shade of colour. Had drinks with old classmates, have not seen them since 2 years ago. Some are getting married and some are in a relationship. People change and some of us still remain the same. Life is always full with interesting and sometimes unexpected events. some we called them blessings and some we called them curse. And it is up to us to measure which one weight more than the other. People come and go. With that, we have to learn to appreciate people who are around us.

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The Village:

I will be leaving for the village tomorrow. I have not visited the village for a long time. The cool water and the beautiful village people

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Wish you were here:

There is someone whom i miss dearly is leaving too. Wish that he is here with me. We are two lost souls swimming in the fish bowl. Really hope to see the sun soon. Heavy down pour and the black clouds clouded the sun to show its radiant light. Hope that the sun will shine again so that we can meet. Wish you were here, wish you were here.      

Martha...

A beautiful masterpiece, a genius poet that Tom had created. Looking into his eyes, is like watching a movie with an old movie projector, memories that we had are now reacted once again. Beautiful, beautiful. Martha, what a simple and yet infactuating. It is in my head...i could actually picture Mr. Waits singing it just in front of me. Splendid indid.

Surf Up!!!? what's up with all those surfing reality show? it is like the next MTV 'laguna beach' reality tv show. basically you can just heat up your tv meal in the microwave and have it while watching the show. this shows how 'creative' entertainment can be. "Radical, dude!"

Today is definayely not my day. Although it is pretty sunny out there, but i cant seem to bring myself to go out and enjoy the  spring. Probably i should just chill in my room and isolate myself for awhile.  

Months had passed. Cold winter had just ended. Bold trees now bloom with beautiful cherry blossom. And yet, I am feeling really guilty. Feeling really bad for things that i have promised long time ago. Speechless. Do not know how to repent all those wrong doings.

Was watching Evan Almighty. Funny but it made me realised how important the people around me. Repent! Repent!

Random facts of the day:

Do you know what does Oregano mean? Guess... "Joy of the Mountain" 

chili ice cream...

it is divided into 3 parts, First part - feel the chill feeling when a big spoon full of ice cream is inserted into your warm mouth. A sudden frozen feeling trembles your whole body. A picture of snowy mountain of Antartica is drawn and kept in your imagination box. Second part - spicy feeling from the chili. The burning spicy sensation  triggers your taste buds. You can expereince the hot and burning feeling of Sahara desert. Last part - Paradise is brough to your own backyard. The combination of ying and yang, the cold and hot, the snow and sand gives you the balance in life...a life just like paradise... just like the chili ice cream.

Small, but the gleam brings me back to yesterday
A promise gave way
A strung out romance
A victory rose
Another ghost
An explosion in my Woden sky
A drake into my setting sunn)))
A door to my washed out earth